to listen to some of these song. But listening to the song as you go along helps to catch the douchy nuances of some key lyrics. I recommend having so good tunes available immediately after as a therapeutic measure. I will try to make a few recommendations as we take this journey together. I like all types of music, but simply haven't been able to keep up with as much contemporary music as I would like, so my recommendations will range from old to new and span all genres.
What I used to ease the pain after evaluating "Screaming Infidelities":
1. "Build Strong" by RZA off the album "Digital Bullet"
2. "Hero" by Asteroid Galaxy Tour(they haven't released a full album yet)
3. "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" by The Scissor Sisters
Saturday, April 18, 2009
"Screaming Infidelities"...and then jamming newly sharpened pencils into my ears
Dashboard Confessional decided to kick off a career of sappy drivel with the song "Screaming Infidelities" on their first album, The Swiss Army Romance. After listening to this song, one wonders how Chris Carrabba stands to go on with life. Carrabba's poignant lyrics are as follows.
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
standard emo beginning
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
I wish you would have avoided telling the world this sob story
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
what is this bottle of beast? Maybe Milwaukee's Best, which believe me is not a beverage worthy of being noted in a song
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
further reaffirms my theory that this song was written by an infant
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.
are you trying to avoid places where you could conversate with this girl or actually stalking her?
I'm reading your note over again,
and the correct answer is stalking/obsessing/being a huge tool
There's not a word that I comprehend,
it can be ascertained that Carrabba is borderline retarded by these lyrics, but it is now fact that he is completely illiterate
Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"
she doesn't love you, she is banging other dudes and making sure you know about it
As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
this is your choice you no-balls-sad-sack
And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.
with her lips, tongue, and probably a heavy dose of heavy petting on the side
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.
bold statement, Mr. Carrabba...these are the pussiest lyrics ever, and I will now refer to Chris Carrabba by a more appropriate name the rest of this post. I'll go with "Tiffany". I'm gonna make a couple suggestions of a venue for making out a person/thing I want Tiffany to make out with.
1.Place: Skydiving without a parachute directly over Dashboard Confessional's biggest fan
Make out partner: The Queen of England(you asked for it douchebag)
2.Place: In a 5x5 room with speakers blasting whatever music personally offends him
Make out partner: A band saw(gruesome but gets my point across)
I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
I don't even know how to articulate how stupid this is.
And when did your eyes
Begin to look fake?
probably when your depression deepened several degrees and you started banging a blow up doll.
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending
if she is really happy then it's not pretending
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
and then getting burped and your diaper changed
I am alone in my defeat
no, unfortunately you dragged all of teenage America into your depressing thoughts...You are a tool
I wish I knew you were safely at home
you do know this, you are staring through her window and masterbating with your own tears
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear
get a vacuum you filthy, sad fuck...stop making shitty music and leave the rest of us alone.
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
standard emo beginning
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
I wish you would have avoided telling the world this sob story
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
what is this bottle of beast? Maybe Milwaukee's Best, which believe me is not a beverage worthy of being noted in a song
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
further reaffirms my theory that this song was written by an infant
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.
are you trying to avoid places where you could conversate with this girl or actually stalking her?
I'm reading your note over again,
and the correct answer is stalking/obsessing/being a huge tool
There's not a word that I comprehend,
it can be ascertained that Carrabba is borderline retarded by these lyrics, but it is now fact that he is completely illiterate
Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"
she doesn't love you, she is banging other dudes and making sure you know about it
As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
this is your choice you no-balls-sad-sack
And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.
with her lips, tongue, and probably a heavy dose of heavy petting on the side
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.
bold statement, Mr. Carrabba...these are the pussiest lyrics ever, and I will now refer to Chris Carrabba by a more appropriate name the rest of this post. I'll go with "Tiffany". I'm gonna make a couple suggestions of a venue for making out a person/thing I want Tiffany to make out with.
1.Place: Skydiving without a parachute directly over Dashboard Confessional's biggest fan
Make out partner: The Queen of England(you asked for it douchebag)
2.Place: In a 5x5 room with speakers blasting whatever music personally offends him
Make out partner: A band saw(gruesome but gets my point across)
I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
I don't even know how to articulate how stupid this is.
And when did your eyes
Begin to look fake?
probably when your depression deepened several degrees and you started banging a blow up doll.
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending
if she is really happy then it's not pretending
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
and then getting burped and your diaper changed
I am alone in my defeat
no, unfortunately you dragged all of teenage America into your depressing thoughts...You are a tool
I wish I knew you were safely at home
you do know this, you are staring through her window and masterbating with your own tears
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear
get a vacuum you filthy, sad fuck...stop making shitty music and leave the rest of us alone.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Listen to the Song as you read at....
http://listen.grooveshark.com ...You can find about any song, it's better than pandora b/c you listen to what you want.
Deep Inside of Third Eye Blind
I actually have no innate problem with Third Eye Blind, and in fact think some of their music is fun and enjoyable. They usually seem to know what they are(a fun catchy rock band with a little emotional flair), but in "Deep Inside of You" TEB takes it a little too far. "Motorcycle Drive-By" is a bit of a hidden gem towards the end of their debut album that never got radio play. "Crystal Baller" is a fun tune, and who can honestly not sing along to "Semi-Charmed Life". I mean what other band could slide the lyric, "She comes round and she goes down on me", past the multitude of parents who sang along with their teenagers in the car. There is also a multitude of drug references that don't even make you bat an eye. Priceless. But, alas, I must get to the point and evaluate my target. Stephan Jenkins, vocalist of TEB, contributed the lyrics and will draw most of my ire.
Note: there are full-blown sexual references in this post due to the nature of the song I am evaluating.
"Deep Inside of You"
When we met light was shed
thus begins the song that should have been forever known as "Balls Deep"
Thoughts free flow you said
nothing too bad yet...be patient
You’ve got somethin’
Deep inside of you
i'm betting syphilis, but gonna hedge that bet with a little action on the HIV
A wind chime voice sounds
this voice sounds fucking annoying, not to mention incomprehensible
Sway of your hips ‘round rings true
what the hell does this mean?...maybe that the sway of your hips is accurate or appears true...ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to the one and only woman who sways her hips in a perfect parabola.
It goes deep inside of you
"it" is very vague and could refer to anything, but the song hasn't built up enough yet to warrant deep penetrating intercourse. I'm guessing if "it" is really referring the speaker's member, he is only playing a little game called "just the tip" at this point.
These secret garden beams
secret garden? I'm guessing this female is a bit unkempt in certain areas
Changed my life so it seems
maybe a bit disconcerting, but life-changing seems a bit dramatic
A Fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride
a refrain of normalcy from Jenkins to let us catch our breath
Thoughts are warm
no, no, no....thoughts are thoughts...this is like saying, "this cheeseburger tastes like happy", or "the dude I sat by on the bus smelled like rays of light"
And they go deep inside of you
to your very rotting core...I think I was a little premature with the, "just the tip" call, now that "warm" thoughts are all that are entering her.
Oh yeah
And I never felt alone
Alright
Ohhh ohhh ‘til I met you
meeting people makes me feel lonely too...that's why I like to go sit in my bedroom devoid of any human contact for days on end...I literally only leave to buy cigarettes and empty my bedpan.
Friends say I’ve changed
I'm the friend that actually said this...Jenkins changed when he when he stopped referancing sloppy bj's and crystal meth, to write his opus, "Balls Deep"
I don’t listen‘
you should...because while this song was a "hit", I'm pretty sure it was your last big one
Cause I live to be
Deep inside of you
can you imagine dropping the above two lines on a girl...i don't care if you've been married with a healthy sex life for 25 years, this is creepy...i'm also under the impression that these two lines can only exit one's mouth in a creepy, breathy voice(it's true, i just tried it and you should try it too).
Slide up her dress
Shouts in darkness
I’m so alive
I’m deep inside of you
have to address this whole stanza at once...STEPHAN JENKINS has just morphed into a full-blown rapist...the song has also grown from thoughts and feelings to just the tip to banging out and has officially become, "Balls Deep".
You said boy made girl feel good
what would the phrase, "boy made girl feel good" be a response to? This girl must be at least part mongoloid
But still
Deep inside still
"still?"...time for the tried and true pull-out method
I never felt alone
‘Til I met you
I’m alright on my own
And then I met you
already addressed
And I’d know what to do if I just knew what’s comin’
we shall call Jenkins the omnipotent Christ, and he shall make decisions based on future knowledge...a couple examples. If Jenkins knew he was going to sound like a huge douche this entire song, he would have never written/released it. If Jenkins wanted to never release another mega-hit, he would have taken his writing utensil and jabbed it into his jugular to keep pen from striking paper.
I would change myself if I could
Dr. Phil has a remarkable self-help collection which can teach you any number of life lessons...More importantly, don't change yourself, just be a bit more discriminate about what thoughts you release to the public.
I would walk with my people if I could find ‘em
your people?
And I’d say that I’m sorry to you
I’m sorry to you
there, you said it...two simple words...way to go
And I don’t wanna call you
But then I wanna to call you
make up your mind...you can call and then if you change your mind you can just breath heavily into the phone and say things like, "Cause I live, to be deep inside of you".
‘Cause I don’t wanna crush you
But I feel like crushin’ you
indecisiveness is getting annoying...I think Jenkins actually meant physical crushing and not emotional. Substitute the word "crush" for "bludgeon" and it makes the song a bit more interesting...albeit a lot more psychopathic
And it’s true
I took for granted you were with me
standard cheeseball line
I breathe by your looks and you look right through me
once again, "breathe by your looks" is an absurd statement, likened to...."I devour your fragrance", and "I punch your terrible personality"
(We were broke and) didn’t know
And we were broke and didn’t know (3x)
Right
Ohhh that’s right
Ohhh
Somethin’s gone
You withdraw
And I’m not strong like before
I was deep inside of you
Jenkins has sung this whole song to expell his seed, and now is weakened to a pile of sweat, lube, and spent condoms.
I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare at a ghost
Deep inside of you
he totally banged some sort of poltergeist
And some great need in me
"great need" = sex drive
Starts to bleed
so, syphilis or the HIV wasn't his std of choice...gonnorea has driven Jenkins to piss blood
I’ve lost myself there’s nothin’ left
It’s all gone
give yourself 10-15 minutes and you'll be ready to bang out again...hang in there buddy
Deep inside of you (3x)
we get it already...you are/were sexually active
Note: there are full-blown sexual references in this post due to the nature of the song I am evaluating.
"Deep Inside of You"
When we met light was shed
thus begins the song that should have been forever known as "Balls Deep"
Thoughts free flow you said
nothing too bad yet...be patient
You’ve got somethin’
Deep inside of you
i'm betting syphilis, but gonna hedge that bet with a little action on the HIV
A wind chime voice sounds
this voice sounds fucking annoying, not to mention incomprehensible
Sway of your hips ‘round rings true
what the hell does this mean?...maybe that the sway of your hips is accurate or appears true...ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to the one and only woman who sways her hips in a perfect parabola.
It goes deep inside of you
"it" is very vague and could refer to anything, but the song hasn't built up enough yet to warrant deep penetrating intercourse. I'm guessing if "it" is really referring the speaker's member, he is only playing a little game called "just the tip" at this point.
These secret garden beams
secret garden? I'm guessing this female is a bit unkempt in certain areas
Changed my life so it seems
maybe a bit disconcerting, but life-changing seems a bit dramatic
A Fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride
a refrain of normalcy from Jenkins to let us catch our breath
Thoughts are warm
no, no, no....thoughts are thoughts...this is like saying, "this cheeseburger tastes like happy", or "the dude I sat by on the bus smelled like rays of light"
And they go deep inside of you
to your very rotting core...I think I was a little premature with the, "just the tip" call, now that "warm" thoughts are all that are entering her.
Oh yeah
And I never felt alone
Alright
Ohhh ohhh ‘til I met you
meeting people makes me feel lonely too...that's why I like to go sit in my bedroom devoid of any human contact for days on end...I literally only leave to buy cigarettes and empty my bedpan.
Friends say I’ve changed
I'm the friend that actually said this...Jenkins changed when he when he stopped referancing sloppy bj's and crystal meth, to write his opus, "Balls Deep"
I don’t listen‘
you should...because while this song was a "hit", I'm pretty sure it was your last big one
Cause I live to be
Deep inside of you
can you imagine dropping the above two lines on a girl...i don't care if you've been married with a healthy sex life for 25 years, this is creepy...i'm also under the impression that these two lines can only exit one's mouth in a creepy, breathy voice(it's true, i just tried it and you should try it too).
Slide up her dress
Shouts in darkness
I’m so alive
I’m deep inside of you
have to address this whole stanza at once...STEPHAN JENKINS has just morphed into a full-blown rapist...the song has also grown from thoughts and feelings to just the tip to banging out and has officially become, "Balls Deep".
You said boy made girl feel good
what would the phrase, "boy made girl feel good" be a response to? This girl must be at least part mongoloid
But still
Deep inside still
"still?"...time for the tried and true pull-out method
I never felt alone
‘Til I met you
I’m alright on my own
And then I met you
already addressed
And I’d know what to do if I just knew what’s comin’
we shall call Jenkins the omnipotent Christ, and he shall make decisions based on future knowledge...a couple examples. If Jenkins knew he was going to sound like a huge douche this entire song, he would have never written/released it. If Jenkins wanted to never release another mega-hit, he would have taken his writing utensil and jabbed it into his jugular to keep pen from striking paper.
I would change myself if I could
Dr. Phil has a remarkable self-help collection which can teach you any number of life lessons...More importantly, don't change yourself, just be a bit more discriminate about what thoughts you release to the public.
I would walk with my people if I could find ‘em
your people?
And I’d say that I’m sorry to you
I’m sorry to you
there, you said it...two simple words...way to go
And I don’t wanna call you
But then I wanna to call you
make up your mind...you can call and then if you change your mind you can just breath heavily into the phone and say things like, "Cause I live, to be deep inside of you".
‘Cause I don’t wanna crush you
But I feel like crushin’ you
indecisiveness is getting annoying...I think Jenkins actually meant physical crushing and not emotional. Substitute the word "crush" for "bludgeon" and it makes the song a bit more interesting...albeit a lot more psychopathic
And it’s true
I took for granted you were with me
standard cheeseball line
I breathe by your looks and you look right through me
once again, "breathe by your looks" is an absurd statement, likened to...."I devour your fragrance", and "I punch your terrible personality"
(We were broke and) didn’t know
And we were broke and didn’t know (3x)
Right
Ohhh that’s right
Ohhh
Somethin’s gone
You withdraw
And I’m not strong like before
I was deep inside of you
Jenkins has sung this whole song to expell his seed, and now is weakened to a pile of sweat, lube, and spent condoms.
I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare at a ghost
Deep inside of you
he totally banged some sort of poltergeist
And some great need in me
"great need" = sex drive
Starts to bleed
so, syphilis or the HIV wasn't his std of choice...gonnorea has driven Jenkins to piss blood
I’ve lost myself there’s nothin’ left
It’s all gone
give yourself 10-15 minutes and you'll be ready to bang out again...hang in there buddy
Deep inside of you (3x)
we get it already...you are/were sexually active
Monday, April 13, 2009
Photograph by THE "Nickelback"
I start with Nickleback, the band that started it all. Their hard rock persona is balanced out by the soft rock ballad "Photograph". Nickleback will surely make the Shitty Lyrics Hall of Fame by the time all is said and done. If you can, listen to this song as you read so you can be engulfed by a truly shitty experience.
Look at this photograph
okay folks, this is about as good as it gets
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
setting up the obnoxiously linear and juvenile rhyme pattern that Kroeger treats us to for 3:50
How did our eyes get so red
it's a photograph dumbass, people's eyes turn out red sometimes. Not only are you lamenting a cheesy high school photograph, you are lamenting one that displays red eye.
And what the hell is on Joey's head
a pile of shit known as your lyrics probably
And this is where I grew up
Hanna, Alberta...avoid raising your children there b/c they might turn into huge douchebags like Chad Kroeger
I think the present owner fixed it up
inconsequential to whatever narrative meaning you might be going for...on the upside it fits in with the incessantly nauseating rhyme scheme.
I never knew we'd ever went without
probably because you never really went without anything except for talent
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
this is the point in the song where we wish the second floor would have been a little bit harder to sneak out of so he would have fallen and broken his neck...notice also Kroeger's panache for rhymes, by rhyming "out" with "out"
And this is where I went to school
probably didn't learn much
Most of the time had better things to do
like being a professional trampolinist...true story...
Criminal record says I broke in twice
so, you had better things to do than go to school, but you found it necessary to break in...illogical nonsense
I must have done it half a dozen times
Chad Kroeger got away with breaking into his school 2/3 of the time...what a badass
I wonder if it's too late
to hang yourself? No, go ahead...please
Should i go back and try to graduate
he just wants to get on high school girls again...While Kroeger is a "Rock Star", even groupies won't touch his majesty of perpetual lameness
Life's better now than it was back then
but you later go on to assert, "If I could I relive those days"...consistency would be awesome
If I was them I wouldn't let me in
I wouldn't let in a wannabe statutory rapist either
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I
The first of a couple mid-song Chad Kroeger lyrical orgasms
Every memory of looking out the back door
I could see that old general store....see I can rhyme incoherently also
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
did all your photographs have redeye?...probably
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye...nope, not too hard
Every memory of walking out the front door
I wonder if he walked out the front door backwards as he was staring out the back door...probably the most intriguing thought I can muster from this entire masterpiece
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
how many friends did Chadwick(that's right, I'm calling him Chadwick now) really have while training to become a professional trampolinist?
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye...even easier that time
Remember the old arcade
I bet you played a lot of Ms. Pacman, when regular old Pacman was readily available
Blew every dollar that we ever made
pretty stupid considering you "went without"
The cops hated us hangin' out
Kroeger is seriously a straight badass...hanging out at the arcade and breaking into school is pretty much comparable to B.I.G. dealing crack in Harlem.
They say somebody went and burned it down
it was probably Chad Kroeger, Criminal Mastermind
We used to listen to the radio
ok...
And sing along with every song we know
"know" is present tense god dammit...but then again "knew" doesn't rhyme with radio, so I guess it's fine
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
where you going with this Chadwick?
To sing to more than just the steering wheel
that poor fucking steering wheel...if it had a mind of it's own, it would have steered you straight into the nearest telephone pole
Kim's the first girl I kissed
Kim is the first blind, deaf, and dumb girl that also turned out to be a complete whore
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
she's the blind one Chadwick...get your shit together
She's had a couple of kids since then
and several abortions...although you have had more abortions
*note to reader: all of Chad Kroeger's abortions can be found on CD's and are also known as any song Chad Kroeger has ever written
I haven't seen her since god knows when
god does know when...because he is omnipotent...and you are just impotent
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I
lyrical orgasm #2
Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
read above analysis
I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it
i'm gonna address this all at once...this is about the end of the song and Kroeger decides to start sputtering out complete and utter nonsense to get his point across that he doesn't realize and never did understand where he was going with this song.
If I could I relive those days
I hope you are one day relegated back to your shitty house, shitty life, and burnt down arcade
I know the one thing that would never change
days and change are a slant rhyme which is a nice change of pace...strong finish here we go!
Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me...
laugh...you just told us in the previous line...well this song makes me laugh because you are a joke.
Look at this photograph
okay folks, this is about as good as it gets
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
setting up the obnoxiously linear and juvenile rhyme pattern that Kroeger treats us to for 3:50
How did our eyes get so red
it's a photograph dumbass, people's eyes turn out red sometimes. Not only are you lamenting a cheesy high school photograph, you are lamenting one that displays red eye.
And what the hell is on Joey's head
a pile of shit known as your lyrics probably
And this is where I grew up
Hanna, Alberta...avoid raising your children there b/c they might turn into huge douchebags like Chad Kroeger
I think the present owner fixed it up
inconsequential to whatever narrative meaning you might be going for...on the upside it fits in with the incessantly nauseating rhyme scheme.
I never knew we'd ever went without
probably because you never really went without anything except for talent
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
this is the point in the song where we wish the second floor would have been a little bit harder to sneak out of so he would have fallen and broken his neck...notice also Kroeger's panache for rhymes, by rhyming "out" with "out"
And this is where I went to school
probably didn't learn much
Most of the time had better things to do
like being a professional trampolinist...true story...
Criminal record says I broke in twice
so, you had better things to do than go to school, but you found it necessary to break in...illogical nonsense
I must have done it half a dozen times
Chad Kroeger got away with breaking into his school 2/3 of the time...what a badass
I wonder if it's too late
to hang yourself? No, go ahead...please
Should i go back and try to graduate
he just wants to get on high school girls again...While Kroeger is a "Rock Star", even groupies won't touch his majesty of perpetual lameness
Life's better now than it was back then
but you later go on to assert, "If I could I relive those days"...consistency would be awesome
If I was them I wouldn't let me in
I wouldn't let in a wannabe statutory rapist either
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I
The first of a couple mid-song Chad Kroeger lyrical orgasms
Every memory of looking out the back door
I could see that old general store....see I can rhyme incoherently also
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
did all your photographs have redeye?...probably
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye...nope, not too hard
Every memory of walking out the front door
I wonder if he walked out the front door backwards as he was staring out the back door...probably the most intriguing thought I can muster from this entire masterpiece
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
how many friends did Chadwick(that's right, I'm calling him Chadwick now) really have while training to become a professional trampolinist?
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
goodbye, goodbye...even easier that time
Remember the old arcade
I bet you played a lot of Ms. Pacman, when regular old Pacman was readily available
Blew every dollar that we ever made
pretty stupid considering you "went without"
The cops hated us hangin' out
Kroeger is seriously a straight badass...hanging out at the arcade and breaking into school is pretty much comparable to B.I.G. dealing crack in Harlem.
They say somebody went and burned it down
it was probably Chad Kroeger, Criminal Mastermind
We used to listen to the radio
ok...
And sing along with every song we know
"know" is present tense god dammit...but then again "knew" doesn't rhyme with radio, so I guess it's fine
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
where you going with this Chadwick?
To sing to more than just the steering wheel
that poor fucking steering wheel...if it had a mind of it's own, it would have steered you straight into the nearest telephone pole
Kim's the first girl I kissed
Kim is the first blind, deaf, and dumb girl that also turned out to be a complete whore
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
she's the blind one Chadwick...get your shit together
She's had a couple of kids since then
and several abortions...although you have had more abortions
*note to reader: all of Chad Kroeger's abortions can be found on CD's and are also known as any song Chad Kroeger has ever written
I haven't seen her since god knows when
god does know when...because he is omnipotent...and you are just impotent
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I
lyrical orgasm #2
Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
read above analysis
I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it
i'm gonna address this all at once...this is about the end of the song and Kroeger decides to start sputtering out complete and utter nonsense to get his point across that he doesn't realize and never did understand where he was going with this song.
If I could I relive those days
I hope you are one day relegated back to your shitty house, shitty life, and burnt down arcade
I know the one thing that would never change
days and change are a slant rhyme which is a nice change of pace...strong finish here we go!
Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me...
laugh...you just told us in the previous line...well this song makes me laugh because you are a joke.
Mission Statement & Initial Operating Procedure
This blog is devoted to ripping apart the lyrics of songs line by line until the "artist" is reduced to a puddle of trembling feces. While I know very little about the actual composition of music, and can thus only comment on what I like or dislike, I do know good writing. The level at which absurdly terrible lyrics are being attached to actual musical melodies has reached an alltime high, and I simply will not stand for it. One of the worst offenders is Chad Kroeger of Nickleback fame, and I was actually given the idea for this blog by a compilation of Nickleback's songs on a comedy radio morning show in which the hosts interjected frequently to make fun of Kroeger's lyrical genius. I hope you enjoy, and if so feel free make contributions. Just follow the model of my posts lampooning various songs, or simply make a suggestion of a song I need to work on myself.
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