"Screaming Infidelities"...and then jamming newly sharpened pencils into my ears

Dashboard Confessional decided to kick off a career of sappy drivel with the song "Screaming Infidelities" on their first album, The Swiss Army Romance. After listening to this song, one wonders how Chris Carrabba stands to go on with life. Carrabba's poignant lyrics are as follows.

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep

standard emo beginning

Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak

I wish you would have avoided telling the world this sob story

And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

what is this bottle of beast? Maybe Milwaukee's Best, which believe me is not a beverage worthy of being noted in a song

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets

further reaffirms my theory that this song was written by an infant

You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.

are you trying to avoid places where you could conversate with this girl or actually stalking her?

I'm reading your note over again,

and the correct answer is stalking/obsessing/being a huge tool

There's not a word that I comprehend,

it can be ascertained that Carrabba is borderline retarded by these lyrics, but it is now fact that he is completely illiterate

Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"

she doesn't love you, she is banging other dudes and making sure you know about it

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,

this is your choice you no-balls-sad-sack

And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.

with her lips, tongue, and probably a heavy dose of heavy petting on the side

And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.

bold statement, Mr. Carrabba...these are the pussiest lyrics ever, and I will now refer to Chris Carrabba by a more appropriate name the rest of this post. I'll go with "Tiffany". I'm gonna make a couple suggestions of a venue for making out a person/thing I want Tiffany to make out with.

1.Place: Skydiving without a parachute directly over Dashboard Confessional's biggest fan
Make out partner: The Queen of England(you asked for it douchebag)
2.Place: In a 5x5 room with speakers blasting whatever music personally offends him
Make out partner: A band saw(gruesome but gets my point across)

I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?

I don't even know how to articulate how stupid this is.

And when did your eyes
Begin to look fake?

probably when your depression deepened several degrees and you started banging a blow up doll.

I hope you're as happy as you're pretending

if she is really happy then it's not pretending

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets

and then getting burped and your diaper changed

I am alone in my defeat

no, unfortunately you dragged all of teenage America into your depressing thoughts...You are a tool

I wish I knew you were safely at home

you do know this, you are staring through her window and masterbating with your own tears

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out

Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear

get a vacuum you filthy, sad fuck...stop making shitty music and leave the rest of us alone.