Deep Inside of Third Eye Blind

I actually have no innate problem with Third Eye Blind, and in fact think some of their music is fun and enjoyable. They usually seem to know what they are(a fun catchy rock band with a little emotional flair), but in "Deep Inside of You" TEB takes it a little too far. "Motorcycle Drive-By" is a bit of a hidden gem towards the end of their debut album that never got radio play. "Crystal Baller" is a fun tune, and who can honestly not sing along to "Semi-Charmed Life". I mean what other band could slide the lyric, "She comes round and she goes down on me", past the multitude of parents who sang along with their teenagers in the car. There is also a multitude of drug references that don't even make you bat an eye. Priceless. But, alas, I must get to the point and evaluate my target. Stephan Jenkins, vocalist of TEB, contributed the lyrics and will draw most of my ire.

Note: there are full-blown sexual references in this post due to the nature of the song I am evaluating.

"Deep Inside of You"

When we met light was shed

thus begins the song that should have been forever known as "Balls Deep"

Thoughts free flow you said

nothing too bad yet...be patient

You’ve got somethin’
Deep inside of you

i'm betting syphilis, but gonna hedge that bet with a little action on the HIV

A wind chime voice sounds

this voice sounds fucking annoying, not to mention incomprehensible

Sway of your hips ‘round rings true

what the hell does this mean?...maybe that the sway of your hips is accurate or appears true...ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to the one and only woman who sways her hips in a perfect parabola.

It goes deep inside of you

"it" is very vague and could refer to anything, but the song hasn't built up enough yet to warrant deep penetrating intercourse. I'm guessing if "it" is really referring the speaker's member, he is only playing a little game called "just the tip" at this point.

These secret garden beams

secret garden? I'm guessing this female is a bit unkempt in certain areas

Changed my life so it seems

maybe a bit disconcerting, but life-changing seems a bit dramatic

A Fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride

a refrain of normalcy from Jenkins to let us catch our breath

Thoughts are warm

no, no, no....thoughts are thoughts...this is like saying, "this cheeseburger tastes like happy", or "the dude I sat by on the bus smelled like rays of light"

And they go deep inside of you

to your very rotting core...I think I was a little premature with the, "just the tip" call, now that "warm" thoughts are all that are entering her.

Oh yeah
And I never felt alone
Alright
Ohhh ohhh ‘til I met you

meeting people makes me feel lonely too...that's why I like to go sit in my bedroom devoid of any human contact for days on end...I literally only leave to buy cigarettes and empty my bedpan.

Friends say I’ve changed

I'm the friend that actually said this...Jenkins changed when he when he stopped referancing sloppy bj's and crystal meth, to write his opus, "Balls Deep"

I don’t listen‘

you should...because while this song was a "hit", I'm pretty sure it was your last big one

Cause I live to be
Deep inside of you

can you imagine dropping the above two lines on a girl...i don't care if you've been married with a healthy sex life for 25 years, this is creepy...i'm also under the impression that these two lines can only exit one's mouth in a creepy, breathy voice(it's true, i just tried it and you should try it too).

Slide up her dress
Shouts in darkness
I’m so alive
I’m deep inside of you

have to address this whole stanza at once...STEPHAN JENKINS has just morphed into a full-blown rapist...the song has also grown from thoughts and feelings to just the tip to banging out and has officially become, "Balls Deep".

You said boy made girl feel good

what would the phrase, "boy made girl feel good" be a response to? This girl must be at least part mongoloid

But still
Deep inside still

"still?"...time for the tried and true pull-out method

I never felt alone
‘Til I met you
I’m alright on my own
And then I met you

already addressed

And I’d know what to do if I just knew what’s comin’

we shall call Jenkins the omnipotent Christ, and he shall make decisions based on future knowledge...a couple examples. If Jenkins knew he was going to sound like a huge douche this entire song, he would have never written/released it. If Jenkins wanted to never release another mega-hit, he would have taken his writing utensil and jabbed it into his jugular to keep pen from striking paper.

I would change myself if I could

Dr. Phil has a remarkable self-help collection which can teach you any number of life lessons...More importantly, don't change yourself, just be a bit more discriminate about what thoughts you release to the public.

I would walk with my people if I could find ‘em

your people?

And I’d say that I’m sorry to you
I’m sorry to you

there, you said it...two simple words...way to go

And I don’t wanna call you
But then I wanna to call you

make up your mind...you can call and then if you change your mind you can just breath heavily into the phone and say things like, "Cause I live, to be deep inside of you".

‘Cause I don’t wanna crush you
But I feel like crushin’ you

indecisiveness is getting annoying...I think Jenkins actually meant physical crushing and not emotional. Substitute the word "crush" for "bludgeon" and it makes the song a bit more interesting...albeit a lot more psychopathic

And it’s true
I took for granted you were with me

standard cheeseball line

I breathe by your looks and you look right through me

once again, "breathe by your looks" is an absurd statement, likened to...."I devour your fragrance", and "I punch your terrible personality"

(We were broke and) didn’t know
And we were broke and didn’t know (3x)

Right
Ohhh that’s right
Ohhh

Somethin’s gone
You withdraw
And I’m not strong like before
I was deep inside of you

Jenkins has sung this whole song to expell his seed, and now is weakened to a pile of sweat, lube, and spent condoms.

I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare at a ghost
Deep inside of you

he totally banged some sort of poltergeist

And some great need in me

"great need" = sex drive

Starts to bleed

so, syphilis or the HIV wasn't his std of choice...gonnorea has driven Jenkins to piss blood

I’ve lost myself there’s nothin’ left
It’s all gone

give yourself 10-15 minutes and you'll be ready to bang out again...hang in there buddy

Deep inside of you (3x)

we get it already...you are/were sexually active